4 Days past IUI & hate my job

I'm four days past IUI. With all of modern technology why can't they come up with a home pregnancy test that shows +/- immediately? The two week wait kills me. I'm taking Prometrium (vaginally) three times per day and it's so yucky! It's messy and makes me so tired that I'm falling asleep by 8:00 p.m.


This week has been horrible, my supervisor is the worst person I have ever worked with. She is truly an evil woman who does not respect anyone in the office. She will do whatever it takes to make herself shine to the boss. In my eyes a supervisor should be a mentor and and an advocate for the team. I share an office with 2 other women and it's a central gathering place for all of the sales reps to gather as that is where the file are stored, fax machine, shredder, and mail boxes for all of the district employees. In this office there are three desks and mine is facing a wall with my back to the other two desk and my back is to anyone else who might be in the office. So as you can imagine it is like Grand Central Station all day long. Yesterday the she told me that I'm no longer allowed to turn around to see who is behind me and I'm not allowed to talk to anyone that is in the office. WTF? I work from 6:30 a.m. until 5:00 p.m. and not to talk to anyone all day long is absolute torture. My "super" has worked there three days longer than I have and these have been the longest 11 months of my life. I have learned a valuable life lesson that money does not equal happiness. I'm in search of a new job but with the economy picking are pretty slim. I will keep you updated!

Two awesome books!

For women struggling with fertility, motherhood can seem "as far away as the moon and just as hard to reach," to quote the yoga instructor authors. Quinn and Elisabeth Heller have both taken their own fertility journeys, and they made it their mission to pass along their experience using yoga to "pull down the moon." They, along with the input of acupuncturist Jeanie Lee Bussell, outline a 12-week program based on the idea of integrative care for fertility, or ICF. The program includes advice on diet, exercise, sleep, relaxation, and other aspects of life that impact fertility. Each chapter provides an activity for the week designed to introduce various yoga postures or other mind/body/spirit recommendations like journaling. The photographs and personal stories from women trying to conceive make the book accessible and easy to follow even for those who are not familiar with yoga. Likely to find an audience among women who are open to the mystical and spiritual nature of yoga, acupuncture, meditation, and prayer; suitable for public libraries that cater to that crowd.

Insight and frank, friendly advice on overcoming infertility -- from two women who have lived through it all. We are bombarded by images of blissful older mothers, such as Madonna and Celine Dion. But 'Hollywood' articles about pregnancy and fertility at middle age gloss over the tremendous amount of financial, emotional, and physical effort faced by couples struggling to conceive. In this warm, funny, empathetic book, journalist Julie Vargo and literary agent Maureen Regan -- women who have experienced personally almost every aspect of infertility -- give readers a glimpse into what to expect when you're not expecting. Hormones, sperm counts -- nothing is too personal for these two outspoken women! Ranges from technical to humorous and everything in between. What are good, snappy comebacks to the question, 'Why aren't you pregnant?' What is the difference between gonadotrophin releasing hormone and progesterone? Should you freeze your eggs? These questions and many more are answered, and in the tone of a couple of good friends. Between them, the authors have gone through hormone treatments, miscarriages and multiple inseminations -- so they know firsthand the rollercoaster ride of trying to achieve pregnancy. With wise advice on how to communicate with doctors, husbands, friends, and mothers, this book is an invaluable guide for all women facing infertility.

Insemination Day

Last Friday I had a follies check and I had 8 follies …Yikes! I guess that means that the Femara and Follistim combo worked? Actually only four of the eight will be large enough to produce a mature egg.
#1-9.30
#2-13.27
#3-10.18
#4-13.44
#5-14.8
#6-8.3
#7-8.3
#8-20.3

Saturday night I gave myself the HCG injection and this morning I had my sixth insemination with #38. The procedure didn't got nearly as smoothly as the previous IUI's and it was much more uncomfotable, almost painful. I'm having some cramping and spotting but I will survive.

I start the Prometrium tomorrow. I have not idea what to expect taking medication vaginally. I have to continue taking it 3 times per day until AF shows or a negative pregnancy test on February 10th. The two week wait kills me!

Wee little one

A dear friend of mine had her baby girl today. Her name is Paysli Faith and she is the most adorable little thing.

Today was such a special day for me as I got to hold her when she was a couple hours old. Her Mommy gave me a first hand account of the birth experience which I totally appreciated her sharing such intimate details. It's hard to get a true account from a new mom, I always get the love glazed half truth.

Today was such a different experience for me. There was not even one tiny bit of jealousy only pure happiness for Scott and Carin. The birth of their child has renewed my hope and spirit that one day soon I will have a small miracle to hold in my arms.

Pilates

Premier Pilates Performer allows for both strength and aerobic training, it performs dozens of low-impact exercises that help you tone and sculpt your entire body. The four-corded machine provides the resistance you need to help build lean muscle, while the free-form Cardio Rebounder acts like a horizontal trampoline for a unique sweat session.

Holy cow I have done the cardio video once and the Pilates exercise video once and my abs are killing me. It is amazing how it fully engages the upper and lower abs at the same time. Oh yeah my legs, arms and just about every other muscle on my body is hurting too. LOL

Back at it!

We are back in the game for cycle six. Today is cycle day 3 and I started 5.0mg of Femara and did my first Follistim injection (150 iu). I go back for a follie check on day 11, I'm praying for four mature follies.

Last week I did my first acupuncture treatment and I'm still pretty sceptical. It was painless and quite relaxing but I just wonder if it's worth the money.

I need to check with MWSB to see if there are any #38 samples avalible, if not we will use #44 again.

Stressing Out

I am totally stressing myself out on how I should progress with my infertility treatments. These are my dilemmas.

1. Not being able to use the sperm bank that I have been using therefore having to go through the entire process of selecting another sperm donor. For me this was quite a decision and it took me a few weeks to make up my mind.
2. The cost of having to use California Cryobank=DOUBLE what I'm paying each month now.
3. Having to go to counseling to be informed about using a sperm donor. I'm very aware of the unique set of circumstances that will be involved with telling our child that his/her dad is not his biological father. I don't' feel that I need a "counselor" to tell me how this situation should be handled when he/she has never been through this process. If Gary and I want to have a child together this is our only option since he has had a vasectomy.
4. The cost(triple what I'm paying now) plus the travel time and missed work time to have the insemination's done in Wichita by a NURSE not the doctor!

I'm going to set up an appointment with Dr. Marshall my OB doctor who has been doing the insemination's. I would like to present him with the information and plan that the RE would have me follow and do one month of the same protocol with him instead of the fertility clinic. Dr. Marshall and I had come up with a plan to add 2 days of FSH to the mix that I was using the only difference being what cycle days to do the injections. The RE also adds progesterone to the mix.

One advantage of doing this would be the peace of mind of having the extra time to pick out a sperm donor (if necessary) and set up the counseling appointment without having to sit out another month. Another advantage would be seeing how I respond to the new meds. If I do not respond well then I know I will need to go to the specialist for further treatment.

Getting Healthy in 2009

I have made a promise to my self to get back on the healthy living lifestyle! I have let everything regarding my health slide since I started my new job in March. Between sitting on my ass all day long and not doing any form of physical exercise I am totally out of shape and have gained 15 pounds and feel like CRAP! My job is very stressful and I work from 6:30 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. five days per week sitting in front of a computer screen all day long. It is not a fun place to work and and is mentally exhausting dealing with "attitude" all day every day from my supervisor and co-workers.

I know the increased stress of doing fertility treatments does not help my overall well being or my attitude and that has to change. Finding a new job is not a reality with the economic times and good paying jobs with good benefits in our town is not promising even in the best economic times.

Wednesday I have an appointment with a doctor that does acupuncture to get more information on how it can relieve stress and help with infertility. Both my OB and fertility specialist said there are proven benefits to the treatment. My insurance covers 80% of each treatment so I figure it will be worth a try.

I have also signed up for the I Lost It At the Club challenge through my gym. It's a contest among the other participants to lose inches and pounds. The contestants will have access to individual training sessions with the personal trainers and group classes for only those in the contest. I have an appointment tomorrow to be weighed and measured....ouch not so much looking forward to that!

Gary and I also purchased a Aero Pilates Performer. I have seen a lot of stuff on Pilates and have tried a couple videos that were done on the floor but they were really hard so I didn't stick with it. My Mom ordered a Pilates Performer from QVC and the more I got to looking at it the more I think Gary and I can both benefit from it. To me it looks stress relieving and not so hard that your going to dread doing it. It should be here in the next couple of weeks.